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May 20, 2010 / Prof Cupcake.

Australia or washboard island

Coral bay was so last week. The rest of our time there was lol’s. met a crazy kiwi guy, hung out more with senor romance novel. (his novel was about a gigolo who killed his mistress… um I see little romance in that.) chatted with frederico, who has a soft spot is his heart for Judith Butler, I MEAN WHO DOES NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT JUDITH ON VACATION, and worked on tanning my ass cheeks, They are still reflective, but I think I put up a good effort.

Melbourne: WAYYYY! This place is amazing. ace town, lovely people. Am staying with an old high school friend who lives here and have spent the days lounging in a real sized bed in a real person home, no more hostel for me, its like stepping into the pages of a fairytale.

Melbourne Highlights include:

Saw the great ocean road, which is both great and an ocean road, thus living up to its name. discuss.

Watching Kat be a penguin for me when we were unable to find one. It is purely astounding how good kat is at doing this its like she was born a human but has the soul of a bird.

The St. Kilda confectionary stores. There are rows of them. Rows upon rows upon rows. And the windows are all filled with yummies. There was a tower of white chocolate something that made me skip with delight.

Watching CLUELESS and FIRST WIVES CLUB and BRIDE WARS and SLIDING DOORS and MADE OF HONOR. Who chic flic love fest it was AMAZING.

Seeing the balloons!!! One day the cities sky filled with hot air balloons, many of them were shaped like beer bottles and pints, it made it look like the city was getting shit faced.

THE BACON STORE. There was this story that had won an award for having the best bacon on the continent! There should be more places like this. They also had sausages which had received a lousy second place.

The botanic gardens which was HUGE and they had a volcano in it. Like a cheap fake one, but still it was awesome when I thought they had a real volcano in the city, and then it was awesome when it was a really cheap volcano and it made me happy there was no real volcano as a real volcano COULD BE MESSY.

The gay bar market. NEED I SAY MORE? Yes… Yes I truly need to. See IT WAS TRASHY AND FILLED WITH STRAIGHT MEN. Gay club fail. But well there were some gay guys there. In fact there was some really pretty men there. There was this one guy OMG . skin as soft as skin so soft and well um… lets just say he was sups prets. But back to the hilarious nature of a gay bar with lots of straight me, see I got to shove this straight man into a wall. Let me set the scene. This man, he was mingin. And he kept macking on the ladies especially kat, he totally wanted kat.. AND THEN when he got all up in Kat and my grill and was peacocking his stuff and going on and on about how he was completely straight (he was acting like a Neanderthal). WELL then I got to rise to the challenge and defend Kat’s honor (and the right for straight girls to go dance in gay bars with out the FEAR that creepy straight men will perv on them all night like stalkers) and shove him into a wall while making it look like a cool dance move. DEFINITION FIERCE.

Gay bar market continued: KAT KELLY and I got all booze houndy and then talked about feelings. FEELINGS. I love feelings.

So Melbourne = awesome.

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