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May 14, 2010 / Prof Cupcake.

Australia: or romance novel island. Or where dreams are shattered.

Turns out shakira is not a legal midget and beyonce is not freakishly tall. These, seemingly unimportant facts have been the corner stones to my life the past two years. Namely beautiful liar was not filmed using technology reminiscent of lord of the rings, and shakira is not a midget… WHICH IS SO SAD. Because it was always funnier to imagine her as midget singing all her songs. Like gypsy. Tragic. Tragic tragic….

Oh and our roommate is a romance novelist. I am so in love with him. He just sits in the room all day, in the partial darkness on his lap top watching movies, or napping. He is tres moody. Of course he has carpe diem tattooed on his back in huge block letters and a knife wound above his heart from that time he was stabbed… He is more or less perfect besides for the fact that he is slightly dull, but with eye lashes like his, that in no way matters.

Coral bay is a really happening spot! There is a bar that smells perpetually of vomit and a grocery store that carries Gatorade in three flavors. Plus the night life here is almost limitless in its options. You can drink at the vomit bar or buy alcohol from the vomit bar and drink it on the beach. Which is actually rather amazing as it is covered in stars.  (The sky that is. Not the beach. This is not the type of place bradgalina would come for a holiday.)

And the only thing that I more ever present then the stars at night are the flies. There are hundreds of them but I have become a cold and calculating killer of the fuckers. They are the resistance and I am t-100. Only in this future all of them die and I laugh at the puny-ness of humans until I realize I have rendered myself obsolete and then I get sad and write some sort of haunting robot symphony as my power cell slowly deteriorates.

I have taken to drinking excessive amount of alcohol before eating so that what ever we make tastes better. Like last night, we made this eggy chicken left over thing and the only way to safely talk about it is to say it looked rather like breathing barf. Ew. But it tasted amazing. so looks be dammed.


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