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May 12, 2010 / Prof Cupcake.

australia: or man candy island part 2

(I never wrote part one but a brief summation would be perth is perthfect, and is drink inducing I went to visit a prison, I’m glad I’m a good boy. The tour quide was ancient and PERVY)

So Australia diet fail. Turns out 6 pack is the new everything.

I find my self now in this ocean side camp site called coral bay where after briefly being separated from the girls, I randomly found them in the men’s bathroom…. Exactly.

Getting here was a bit of a mish. But thanks to the kindness of strangers it was totally fine. This amazing guy called damon from the couch surfing (only surfing I know how to do.) picked me up at the airport and informed me that if I wanted to find another place to spend the night that was ok by him as he no longer had a couch I could sleep on as his flat mates had turned the living room into a fort. AMAZING. couch surfering mad bonus! Who needs a couch when you have a fort. FORT KARRATHA! Fort karratha was the best fort ever because it came with a birthday party for one of the flat mates. And birthday parties come with cake, and grills, and hulmuie cheese and painful amounts of scotch. OH and fire poy. That thing where people spin fire around their arms. Which to me looks just stupid and dangerous and intoxicating all at the same time.

Fort karratha was fine to sleep in as well, mainly because I was really drunk. And its easy to sleep on awkwardly placed sofa parts when you are drunk.

The next morning, I fear while still drunk I decided to hitch to Coral bay. After getting a ride to the highway I only waited like 14 minutes before Remus, a lovely kiwi guy picked me up. He had a thing for the hills, yes the show, and spent most of the ride telling me the many ways Spenser is an asshole.

The second ride took like 2 hours to get, mainly because I was standing on the side of the road next to this crazy woman who was also hitching. She would jump up and down and sort of howl and beat the rode with a bit of plastic tubing. She got picked up before me.

But no matter I finally got picked up by this Taiwanese guy called sean, he was cool, but  I got quite worried when he told me he was pulling over and sleeping in the car when night came because he was afraid of the kangaroos on the road, and ufo’s….. uh…. Hitching fail. I tried to imagine sean, an air condition repair man was on the run from aliens who only pursued him at night because he has some amazing powers and well it was easy to see through that self delusion.  However after a while he started to point these ufo’s out to me and tell me how they could really fuck a car up. Turns out he meant cows. HILLARIOUS. And after a moment of indecision I decided it would be best to leave him thinking that cows and ufos are the same thing.

My third hitching couple were a pair of miners off to coral bay for a dirty weekend. She was this fiery secretary and he was this built as a brick shit house electrical contractor. They were so nice for picking me up as I been at the edge of a cross roads hiding from the sun in the shade of a garbage can…. I was covered in flies.

In coral bay I found the girls which was unexpected and amazing. the stars here are absurd and the general ethos of the place is one of relax and lovely chilling.

However one of our roommates sounds like a fucking freight train is rumbling through his lungs and out his face. Plus the water tastes like rotten animals and the hallway looks like insect Auschwitz. So maybe its not the nicest place, put its sort oh homey. In a good way.


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