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April 23, 2010 / Prof Cupcake.

queenstown: with out gays. LAME

Franz Joseph: How could I have forgotten STRANGER DANGER! Turns out little miss Kelly slonaker is the type of girl who would take candy from a stranger. When we were at franz, we waited until the sun had set to go on a long walk through a dark and insidious forest to find some glow worms. However on the way we found eddie. Eddie is an American turned midlife crisis having camera man who left his friends and family for the more rural setting of queenstown. While walking down this path that more or less screamed “HELLO TWISTED ANKEL.” Eddie appeared from the mist like some creepy trench coat wearing flasher/serial killer. I mean I could have thought he was a normal man out to look at glow worms except he was lurking around the edges of the forest path sans light. Kelly and kat were equipped with massive head torches, making them look silly but prepared, so creepy shrouded in darkness Eddie was well creepy and slightly unnerving. Like Dracula. While kat and I tried to pick our way up the path to the glow worms Kelly and eddie flew off into the darkness at such speeds it became a genuine concern to Kat and I that we were only going to find parts of Kelly just around the bend. SILLY GIRL SLOW DOWN. Whatever, he did not axe murder us. But I think that’s just because he saw how impressive my guns where.

Queenstown: we left te amu for queenstown which much to my unending disappointment is not filled with queens. WHY I do not know. I mean there is a camp street next to MAN street and the place is f-ing called Queens town, but oh no. not a gay in site. Not really anyone in site. It was strangely empty. However they had funny cards. Like if I was a zombie I would totally eat your brains first. HA zombies. I don’t believe in them, but if I was a zombie I would eat Hedi Montags brains first, as I bet they taste like bubble gum. Plus she’s low in fat. A zombies got to watch his figure as much as the next sub human.  AH the Australia diet…. Its going poorly. Food one, my waste line plus one. Inch that is. Evil. Its ok. I have decided that there are to many built surfer dudes in Australia, I’m going to be cornering the slightly flabby pale market. BO YAH. See a need fill a need.

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