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April 11, 2010 / Prof Cupcake.

REDWOODS! I’d Get involved in that.

We are on our way to mount doom. Well tomorrow, it has taken days to get this close to it. We have met elves and fought balorogs…. Well, actually, we woke up in Rotaroa on Friday,, after our amazing day of penis filled spa enjoyment and went for a leisurely walk in a red woods forest. Here we happened upon a wonderful linguistic break through.  When we see hot men we can call them REDWOODS! Brilliant. Because red woods are tall, majestic hard bodied trees, and hot men are often tall, majestic and hard bodied. (as an aside the redwoods were amazing! The trees there were just so huge and they were intermingled with ferns of various sizes as well as over enthusiastic New Zealand runners. We sang Disney, basked in the sun when it presented itself and generally relaxed.) Later on in the day we wandered to some peddleos and paddled around this tiny lake. After this rather strenuous activity however it was off to the spa again so we could bask in the sulpher rich waters which release your body from the shacles of pain and oppression. This is what we told ourselves… we really went to scam on cute men, of which there was only one. He was French, we called him le French redwood. (it’s a clever system im sure he had no idea we were talking about him.) with the worlds most expressive back and an ugly best friend he was a paragon of virtue.

We ended up seeing him later that night in fact, after a spagbole dinner and my quick cat nap on the floor followed by a ton of cake we went to this club called lava where hot French red wood was dancing like a fool.

The club was rather tragic, it was Dundee meets superheroes, (superheros because there was a superheros theme) and I have send enough pvc outfits for the plus sized women to last me a life time. If from the shire to mount doom we were emulating the hobbits quest these were our uraki where as le hot French redwood would have been our galadrial.

Today we are in Lake Taupo, Kelly has tonsilitise, and Kat and I went on a train ride around a park while our shirts ate ice cream..

Mount doom tomorrow…. It has a real name. but I don’t care at all what it is. I like calling it mount doom ncause then it sounds like mount Poon.

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