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March 13, 2010 / Prof Cupcake.

casual fuck turned first date

I go out and drink till i’m sick believing full hardily in the myth that out there at a bar some where is my prince charming,  If I just sit in a bar long enough, drinking enough, he will appear, or some one near by will look enough like him to confuse me for the evening. This myth motivates me, gets me out of the house and helps remind me that tonight might be the NIGHT where as the spice girls put it, two become one. (well where two become one the first time in along line of fairy tale ending happily ever after nights, because lets face it, in sweaty pop filled gay bars almost ever no one is going home alone.

The belief in this myth is so strong, sort of like the myth of Sisyphus that i in no way believe it. most men i like i’ve met through friends, in play, in a class. i have never really met anyone in bar. i just don’t see myself going home from christmas to introduce steve to my parents saying:

“OH we met in this filthy underground gay club.”

“its more like a urinal then an actually club.”

“HAH STEVE so right. well anywhere were in this club, its called Pony.

“you sure it was pony, i thought it was back doorz??? wait you right sweetie, it was pony.”

“well, we were dancing to bad romance. which is funny becasue our relationship is actually like really good.”

“super good.”

“and the rest is history, right muffin face?”

its not going to happen. when you meet some one in a club. your nasty and filthy and sweaty and in all likely hood you have forgotten your own name. so remembering his in way above and beyond the call of duty. if there was a gay military you would get a rainbow heart for attention to that sort of detail. But meet a lovely guy in a club is just what happened to me. we were not even dancing. just chatting under a heat lamp when I sort of realized i’ve seen the front door of two many strangers apartments recently. I am tried of pubes as dental floss and i’m bored of explaining i’m from NY but not the city to everyone I meet.

so we went home together, well to his, had great sex. drunken sort of sloppy sex but i would still call it great and ended up chatting. and chatting. and chatting. it turns out we rather get along. so after one random club hook up turned possible date i’m not terrible sure where i stand. I’m even going over for dinner tonight. Yet i’m nervous like its a first date.  I’m not even sure how to act. i’ve been blushing all day and i’m tempted to drink till i have the courage to go see him.


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