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March 4, 2010 / Prof Cupcake.

1st date fiasco

There are so many wonderful ways to spend a first date. Going to see a movie, walk in a park, playing frisbee. I love the first date. everyone is so super gracious and accommodating and in order to sound interesting you always pretend that you sort of like their interests, as if you have spent your entire life contemplating urban planning and you have been dying to discuss this budding passion with some one. why do we do this? just compulsively lie our way into a first date fiasco. i always do at least. i would nearly be willing to amputate my own arm in order to fit in with some one.  “oh my you are missing an arm? I JUST LOST MINE THATS SO FUNNY MARRY ME” i long to be one of those suave cool, intellectual guys who when asked if he rolls, responds with an ambiguous yet dark and broody comment. like “there was a time, but not since that day.” instead i feel that this is my in to in detail explain my drug history and explore my fears about the pill generation and potential brain damage. there is literally nothing mysterious about me. NOTHING. i am a children’s book with pictures and spark notes.

but what i might lack in mystery i try to make up for in balls out enthusiasm. which is what happened on my last date. after a lovely some what forgettable walk around town and game of fribee, mostly forgettable because i was kite high, i ended up back at my dates aparemtent where he asked if i wanted to meet some of his friends. which was really it turns out gay first date code for what are your thought about group play.

now i am not apposed to the odd orgy but as an end of the first date i do think that an orgy is often out of line. I was unashamedly imagining our future together which is something i often do when i meet some one. especially some one whose big dream is to convert an old parking lot area into a recreational park with waterfalls, yes falls. I mean i love men, but more then men i love imagining myself with one man and then thinking about how totally wonderful it would be to live with that man, and what our roles would be. ect. at the moment i am over come with wedding planning dreams i wonder if ever man i meet would be ok with me planing the entire wedding and having it take place some where pretty like a national park, but with a reception which is a rave. a grimy grimy sub base rave where we all have to dress like animal spirits.

but how does one say no on a first date. I love saying yes. i love questing and adventures, but i find it awkward to watch my date blow some one else while I’m fucking his friend. especially when his friend is totally cute and i have decided would totally be up for a rave wedding.

it was so much easier with family arranged marriages. i mean i almost would like my parents to choose some guy for me, that way i would not have to suffer through these first dates.

I even agreed to loving Ulysses which i have most defiantly never read. which means i have my weekend plans cut out for me, on the off chance he calls again.


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