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February 15, 2010 / Prof Cupcake.

i will only marry my boss for a fucking huge raise

Rom-coms are my food and day dreams my Krebs cycle.

I too dream that one day, serendipitously a beautiful and talented young man, who may or may not resemble Ryan Reynolds will ‘accidently’ agree to marry me in order to keep his job. Then in the ensuing several days where we ‘pretend’ to be engaged we will fall hopelessly in love with one another.  This is why I watch romantic comedies in bed late at night after having baked cookies for myself for the third time this week. (its because there just so much better fresh) and dream. Hollywood has done this to me. There was a time when I bordered on the practical. I returned library books on time, bought all my groceries at once and used my mail box for outgoing mail. But having seen, how to loose a guy in ten days, sleepless in Seattle, Notthing hill, There is something about mary…. I now know that is no way to meet a guy. Nor is it ok to meet them at a party, through work, on a blind date, online or through a friend. One must always spontaneously fall in love with some one if they have a chance at finding true happiness.

And find it I will. Though its more elusive then the plot of An Education, more confusing then Schenectady, New York, and defiantly better then Surfer, Dude, Love is unpredictable. (Something I have learned from my personal involvement with the subject of love. An involvement that is sort of reminiscent of a 5th grade science project. You know the ones where you freeze marshmallows in liquid nitrogen and have no idea what’s going on but don’t care because you get to eat them and you have been thinking of this day since you were in the forth grade and David Pratt told you about it while you were on the swings during recess. And how strangest of all, that day was not empty or shallow or only half as good as you expected but actually totally amazing. Sitting there holding three flash frozen marshmallows you thought to yourself, one day I’m going to grow up and be a scientist and do cool stuff like this every day.  How it was before physics, which you found boring, and biology with endless prattle about the Krebs Cycle which was the most uninteresting part of your high school career, which is a shame because the Krebs Cycle is rather nifty.) I also learned this from Love Actually, but that’s because it is an amazing film and I have also learned how to: be a good prime minister, perv on your best friends girl and deal with grief.

Romance comedies just keep me going. They are like gas to a car, or the Krebs cycle to a human. (Which I am.) But they have also poisoned me with false promises and fake hope. Like high school musical would have if I had seen it at 12. In fact I think Disney did the job there, I am still not sure why forks and plates and seagulls don’t want to A) be my facebook friend and B) sing with me.

Life is a bit more complex, a bit messier and unfortunately filled with more practical choices then a Hollywood smash success. But they keep us going just like The Proposal did for me. It will not win an Oscar, solve world huger, or find me love, but it will, make me laugh, make me cry, (just kidding…sort of) and leave me feeling bright eyed and bushy tailed for out there in the world is some bumbling yet super hot future assistant of mine who is just waiting to help me keep my green card. (Which I don’t need because I am American.)

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