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February 10, 2010 / Prof Cupcake.

wake up in the morning feeling like p shitty

I’ve been living on a farm for the past 6 days and at the moment i would like to throw pesticides all over myself and go roll in the dirt. i know that would be totally biodynamically unfriendly but some times you just wanna live on the wild side.

But don’t worry i’ve been living as close to that edge as i can for the past few days. why just yesterday i went into town to listen to some bluegrass at a new restaurant. let me set the scene. its 7: 30, im tired, and drinking a non-alcholic beer. i’ve driven here in a hybrid. for dinner i had organic pasta with a thick tomato and beef sauce. the tomato came from the garden, so did the cow. it had a name. i was eating clint. he was, delicious. masked by the tomato’s as he may have been their were undercurrent of guilt as i realized i was eating the baby i had never met of the cow i milk each evening. however he was scrumptious and now i can hardly stop hoping that the milking cow is preggers again so i can eat more meat.

in fact interesting aside. i watched a man inseminate a cow. it looked like fisting. i found him irresistibly attractive even with his hand and arm all the way inside the cow. i wonder if he liked to fist. if his love of fisting grew into this occupation, or if he loved animals, or if he was actually a really nice normal guy with few scary quirks.

the music is great. and i’m in bed asleep by 11. but i did go there to hang with some locals. none of them drink. i found this bizarre until early on they all admitted they were recovering alcoholics.

but where i was going with this before i got distracted by reminiscing is that today and yesterday i have been working on spreading cow shit all over the fields. i get the shit from a man named george, who is toothless and i believe has organically fused with his tractor creating some sort of mechanized super farmer hybrid. he is fat and pudgy and jolly and talks funny because he is toothless. have i mentioned he is toothless. this should be easier for me to get over but it was strangely haunting. he loads my truck up, because yes i drive a truck that comes equipped with a dog and a country radio station. with about a ton of shit and then i drive 12 miles home praying to god the trucks hatch back does not fall open and spill shit all over the roads. people stare, i smell and then i laugh as i turn up the radio and pretend i am driving a space ship.

to be honest. its not that bad. i just like complaining. and i feel strongly that our world needs more organic bio-dynamic farmers. i just don’t really want to be one my whole life.

i think it should be like community service. it would do the world a world of good and then everyone could wake up feeling like p-shitty. this is an achievable goal i think because i don’t think anyone (besides the lovely ke$ha) really knows how p diddy feels.)

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